Never Say Never Again

I'm not sure if there was a Bond film that I was more prepared to dislike than Never Say Never Again. 

It's the "unofficial" Bond movie that's not produced by EON (who owned the Bond license at the time) and features Sean Connery shockingly reprising his role 12 years after the highly forgettable - and my least favorite Bond film to date - Diamonds Are Forever. 

If you're keeping tabs, that means that 1983 saw the release of TWO (!) James Bond films with two different actors in the lead role. Octopussy, the "official" one, was less than stellar and was my least favorite Roger Moore entry yet. Given the age of Connery (who was actually younger than Moore in this film), I fully expected Never Say Never Again to be a wannabe Bond. A "we can do it better" stab at the Moore era that would fall flat. 

Even less enthralling is that it's a light remake of Thunderball, which has not aged well in my mind as it was a bloated, slow slog that never really captivates.

So yeah...scrolling to find this on Prime Video, renting it, and getting it started, it's safe to say that I was doing it more out of obligation than actually wanting to see it. 

I've mentioned several times throughout this that I really have been doing this blind. Obviously I have my own opinions of the Brosnan/Craig era that I grew up with, but otherwise I've only caught bits and pieces of other Bond films on TV and I'm fairly unaware of general consensus (and more importantly, recent consensus) on these films. It has led to wonderful surprises like The Spy Who Loved Me - among others - and is probably one of the most exciting things about taking this journey. 

I am absolutely shocked to say that Never Say Never Again is one of those wonderful surprises. I loved it. 

Let's be real, this trio falling off the cliff was water-spitting funny

Bond's still got it!

If you're wondering what being an "unofficial" Bond film means, the short answer is: not much. There's no gun-barrel intro, woman-silhouette opening credits, or *sigh* Bond theme music, but otherwise...that's about it. There are some casting switches with regulars (e.g. "Q") but by and large, this feels just as much like a Bond film as anything else. Given its silly, circus-bound competition of the same year, it probably feels even more like Bond as a direct comparison. 

Connery is back in the role that defined him and after it felt like he was phoning it in for Diamonds, you can tell there's a certain glee and spirit he contains being back in the role. Even better is that he (and the writers) are eager to make fun of Bond, much to the benefit of the film. NSNA sees an aging Bond called back into action but first he must eliminate all free radicals! He's got to quit the booze, red meats, and womanizing and get back into shape. The film has a bit of a slow start in this regard, but it's a fun slow start that sees Connery hamming it up, even complete with a briefcase full of vodka and fine extravagant (and unhealthy) hors d'oeuvres. 

Eventually we're introduced to a cast of characters that are some of the most memorable we've ever seen in a Bond film. Klaus Maria Brandauer is one of the series' best villains as Max Largo, feeling a bit crazy, yet logical, and ultimately quite memorable in a series that tends to be very hot and cold on the main villain. Barbara Carrera is a delight as his henchwoman, Fatima, who feels like a direct early draft of Xenia Onatopp. Sex-crazed, deliriously crazy, but gorgeous and obsessed with Bond. Kim Basinger takes a while to make an impression, but eventually earns her keep as lasting Bond girl, Domino. Rowan Atkinson even makes a couple of hilarious appearances as an embassy employee who's paranoid about all this spy stuff; truly some laugh-out-loud moments. All of them together, with Connery at the helm, create a cast that's fun, well written, and one of the best Bond has had since the aforementioned Spy Who Loved Me. 

This is also just a better film than Thunderball, which isn't surprising given that it trades out most of the underwater stuff and is made 18 years later. The plot is less of a slog and a lot more straight forward. Bond must come back into the service now that SPECTRE is back and stealing nuclear warheads. Bond must prevent this from happening. It's not revolutionary, but it doesn't need to be with the cast of characters it has. 

Connery still lookin suave in the part

From an action perspective, Never Say Never Again doesn't quite match the impressive Mission Impossible-lite stunts that the Moore era tends to pull off, but there's many solid scenes regardless. A mid-film motorcycle chase is particularly exciting, culminating in an intense and...ahem...explosive villain showdown. The finale, while tainted by some slow underwater scenes and an unfulfilling end for a villain, is still thrilling and has interesting Indiana Jones vibes to it.

Being "unofficial" didn't hurt this film at all (aside from missing the Bond theme music) and wildly, it's better than the actual Bond film that released within the same span. One has to wonder what this head-to-head competition did to the overall franchise; almost as if the past Bond was belittling the new Bond, but just taken at face value as a movie, Never Say Never Again is great fun and consistently entertaining, against all odds. 

CONS

• Missing the Bond theme
• Anti-climactic final battle that's underwater and has an unfulfilling end for a villain
• Slow to get started

PROS

• The film, and Connery, seem delighted to poke some fun at Bond, much to the benefit of the film
• Straightforward plot about an aging Bond being pulled back in for a mission. This is a better, more exciting, and streamlined film than Thunderball
• Connery reminds us why he's so good in the Bond role and it allows him to go out on a high note (as opposed to Diamonds)
• Memorable cast of characters including the villain, hench(wo)man, and Bond girl. Each feel unique and with the villains in particular, they're some of the series' best
• Good, sometimes great action. The motorcycle chase is intense and exciting
• Entertaining with better & less silly humor, a more straightforward plot, and a better cast of characters than it's 1983 competition

Retro Rath's Review Score | 9/10