Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

It's a very rare thing that I don't like a blockbuster. 

I enjoy the big movie spectacle and the crazy budget with A-list stars running around, among other things. 

I've never really been a die-hard fan of the Jurassic World franchise, but I've always enjoyed the movies they produce, even if they don't get me as excited (before or after the fact) as say, a Marvel film. 

Jurassic World, which shockingly went on to become one of the biggest money-makers ever, was a very solid "good" film to me. I've watched it on TV since and enjoyed my second time with it but I still have the same issues with it as I did originally. 

One of those very particular issues was the subplot about militarizing raptors. It's the very first CON for the film and I still today believe that idea is just flat-out dumb. 

Little did I know what I was in for with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, perhaps one of the dumbest blockbusters I've ever watched. 

Having had a night to sleep on it, I find the film interesting because while it's dumb the whole time, there's a clear turning point for me when it goes from acceptable "I'm still enjoying myself" dumb to "wow this is painfully dumb". We pick up 3 years after the events of Jurassic World with a decent opening. Apparently there's a volcano on the island of Jurassic World that, somehow, has switched from dormant to active during that time. Unless there's human intervention, dinosaurs will go extinct again because of the eruption. Our heroes, Pratt and Dallas Howard reprising their roles, decide to go to the island at the last minute and try to get several species off of it, including Blue, Owen's raptor buddy. Already the film's plot sounds, say it with me now, dumb, but it's still entertaining during these moments. How the volcano basically magically appeared, why it seems like even a remotely good idea to rescue dinosaurs off the island, and why they all wait until the last minute is acceptable with the flow of the film even as you subconsciously question it. 

It's just a big lizard! What're you so worried about!

Which one's cuter, ladies?!?

All that leads to easily the best scene of the film, and one of the most impressive of the year, as the volcano begins to violently erupt and our heroes must escape among a stampede of dinosaurs. There's something insanely cool about seeing a T-Rex mid roar, only to be drowned out by Mother Nature's booming explosion, causing the fiercest creature in the series to run in terror. Eventually our heroes escape the island and arrive back on land where the film begins to nosedive, and fast. And that is officially my catalyst: returning to a main body of land. Up until that point I was enjoying Fallen Kingdom similarly to the first film. Perhaps even a bit more because the volcano scene is just that impressive. But once we get back to land the film consistently doubles down on its dumbest ideas, making for a silly and strange direction for the series. This includes bringing back the militarized raptors plot which is still just as dumb as I decided it was previously (probably even more so). The "villainous" direction that the film takes the dinosaurs when they return is just as stupid and plagued with what I'll call "gross economic inaccuracies" (it became a laughing point for my friends and I afterwards). Then there's a subplot involving a little girl --to her credit she's a FAR better child actor than the two from the first Jurassic World -- that comes completely out of left field with a shocker, and then doesn't refer to it again. 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is an absolute mess because it feels like a film crafted around certain scenes with a plot that takes us from A to B without little (or any) thought for sense. It's almost like the creative team was like:

Person 1: "You know what would be cool? A volcano blowing up and all the dinos running from it!"
Person 2: "Oh yeah for sure. And also a super cool raptor that finds a girl in her bedroom. It almost rips her face off with a single claw as she's hiding under her covers!"
Person 1: "That's great! So how do we get from Volcano Scene to Raptor in the Bedroom Scene?"
Person 2: "F**k if I know!"

Obviously it's not as dramatic as my fake script would suggest, but it's shocking how consistently the film wants to take the dumbest route possible, often leaving you shaking your head. Even during a moment late in the film, when it has a chance to be bold and redeem itself, it does exactly what you think it will do -- again, the dumbest decision.

"Don't fart, don't fart, don't fart..."

The film's creative direction is unfortunate then because these are still impressive blockbusters. The sound and sound editing alone is incredible and often terrifying while the CGI (overused) is impressive 90% of the time. You have great leads in Pratt and Dallas Howard and the surrounding cast was really enjoyable this time around too. Throw in a decent/good original score and you've got the foundation of an enjoyable film. And if the film had kept on it's trajectory, that's perhaps what we would have gotten. 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the first "big" blockbuster in quite some time that I don't like. It's score is likely higher than you may expect after reading this simply because at least the first 30-40 minutes are good, sometimes great. I found its direction slightly damaging to the series because it made so many dumb decisions to get where its going that any excitement I had for Jurassic World 3 is now mostly gone. I had my expectations in check for this sequel -- I was lukewarm, not super excited, but hoping for the best -- and it still let me down. Whereas other blockbusters this summer have left me shaking to my core, or shaking from laughter, Fallen Kingdom just left me shaking my head.

CONS

• Consistently makes the dumbest decision available to it
• Volcano extinction set-up is random
• Sure, let's take all the dinosaurs off the island back to mainland
• Doubling down on the idiotic military weapon plot
• Little girl subplot comes out of nowhere and then...
• Many others not listed to avoid spoilers
• Likely because I wasn't enjoying myself, but about 15-20 minutes too long
• Feels crafted to get from one memorable scene to the next
• An ending that goes for "shock" (or at least it seemed like) but instead deflates most remaining interest I have in this series
• Useless Jeff Goldblum cameo. It's less than 2 mins combined

PROS

• Pratt and Howard continue to have good chemistry and some witty banter
• Supporting cast is also enjoyable
• The time the film spends setting up and on the island are well done and I was enjoying myself
• The volcano explosion/chase scene is one of the most impressive of the year. Especially on a giant screen
• Handful of good scenes throughout
• Impressive special effects with even more impressive sound/sound editing
• Introduces a little more horror back into the series

Rath's Review Score | 5/10