The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

 In my review for the original The Hitman's Bodyguard I stated: 

"I'm not left pining to see more of these characters, but I also wouldn't turn down the opportunity to get another adventure with them."

It's an interesting sentiment that I have the same exact conclusion with it's sequel, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard. Catching this on an odd Tuesday viewing (it comes out today), this is airy, hollow fun that could have been eons better, but is fine as is. It's a sequel that is so close to its predecessor in terms of quality, spirit, and issues I had with it that I might as well copy+paste that review.

I won't, but it means this review will be shorter because there's not a whole lot new to say about this "franchise", even if I had a pretty good, one-time view with this one. 

Our main character, Michael Bryce (Reynolds) starts off by having recurring nightmares about how he's failed as a bodyguard and lost his license. He's someone who is heavily invested in his work, so this is crushing to him. While he's on sabbatical, Sonia Kincaid (Hayek) comes in to...kidnap him (I'm honestly not really sure who was chasing who in that scene) to save her husband, Darius Kincaid (Jackson). Hijinks ensure and eventually they must prevent a preposterous and highly unrealistic terrorist attack - complete with a drill made of diamonds! - together as a group. 

What the first film had going for it is similar to this one. Reynolds and Jackson have good, sometimes great chemistry and each of them has their schtick. Reynolds is the wise-guy with innocently delivered one-liners while Jackson is "m****r f****r" everything. Hayek is a unique addition, but started to wear on my nerves in her crazier moments as her character is essentially a Latina Snooki. Loud, vulgar, and over-the-top. It's fun to see Hayek in the role, but there were times where I was sitting there thinking..."Ok...we get it." Antonio Banderas is honestly a waste of money for the film because his villain is forgettable and he doesn't do a whole lot with it, meaning they probably could have gotten someone cheaper (and re-routed the funds into special effects). Morgan Freeman comes in late-in-the-game and, while I won't spoil his secrets, his initial scenes are some of the best in the film, bringing new energy to it as it was just hitting a lull. 

An unlikely trio...

Classic Ryan Reynolds

Luckily, I did find the film pretty damn funny, potentially more than the first (at least from what I can remember). If I'm measuring by its "Hit Rate" (aka the number of jokes that hit divided by the total jokes) then it's not a success, but the ones that do hit earned some hearty chuckles from me and were genuinely funny. They happen often enough where there were probably 10-15 throughout the film even if the rest of the jokes are either i) not funny or ii) only earning a smile. 

Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is about as average as they come. The plot - as alluded to above - is nonsense and mostly just a vehicle for jokes and action scenes and the overall film moves at a weird pace. Breakneck in some moments, and slow/dull in others. Unlike the first, there's also no stand-out action scene here (the first had a great, multi layered chase at the end) and the action is filmed pretty terribly...perhaps the only thing the film actually does "bad". It's hyper-edited and weird camera angles are chosen more often than not that confuse the viewer and make the action dull, even if the sound editing has the gunfire turned up to 11.

The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard is no better or worse than its predecessor, it's dead-even. For a one-time view, this is a fun enough movie that will give you some good laughs and a good time with some of your [likely] favorite actors/actresses, but this is also the quintessential "background noise" movie that you play on some cable channel 2-3 years from now while you work, do chores, etc. 

CONS

• Poorly filmed and edited action. Lacks a single great action scene
• Each of the characters gets annoying at one point or another. Hayek's Kincaid grates the easiest
• Nonsene plot with a nonsense villain, there's nothing you haven't seen here before, folks!
• Banderas' villain seems like a waste
• Hit rate of jokes is low
• Poor special effects when they are used

PROS

• Strong cast and the film is easily carried by Hayek (despite the annoyances), Reynolds, and Jackson
• Extended "cameo" from Morgan Freeman gets some awesome laughs and re-injects some energy into the film's final third
• Has some genuinely funny moments that earn true laughs (not just smiles)
• Fun in that "in one ear, out the other" kind of way

Rath's Review Score | 6/10