Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I'm not quite sure what's happened with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. 

It started off incredibly strong with a pretty fantastic trilogy (despite the fact the third film was obnoxiously long) and now I couldn't be less interested in the new installments. 

I still go to see them, mainly to review them, and I suppose I enjoy them, but there's something drastic missing. The excitement and surprise is now gone from and we're left with mildly entertaining blockbusters that don't stay on your mind past a few days or weeks. 

Once you get a few films into a franchise, everyone has their own rankings. I've always been a huge defender/fan of the second film and I wholeheartedly believe it's the best in the series. The first is virtually tied with it, the third is still good but a ways off from those two, and for the life of me, I cannot remember the fourth one. 

My hypothesis is that there's only so much swashbuckling and piracy that can remain unique and fresh, and we've run out of "new" things. Or at least this series has. We love these characters, obviously, but at the end of the day there are very little remaining WOW moments like a sword fight on top of mountain of gold coins, or seeing Davy Jones for the first time, or an epic cannon battle. At least for me, those things don't retain their value all that well when it's the third, fourth, fifth time at a franchise's attempt to use them. 

Dead Men Tell No Tales is far from a bad movie. And it's certainly better than the fourth film since I think I'll actually remember a few things from it. But after a solid starting hour, it delves into mediocrity and stays there for the remainder of its run time. It seems stuck between knowing that it doesn't need to exist at all and thinking that it needs to wrap up the series with a nice little bow. That's fine I suppose, but I'm then hard pressed to recommend this one when you could just as easily watch the first two and have a much better time. 

How far we've come from the Black Pearl, Jack...

Dead Men falters mainly during its middle section where there is little going on and it amounts to a rather unexciting ship "chase" as everyone is racing to a particular point on a map. Normally I'm on board with the supernatural mythology of the series and there are elements that work here (a dead crew, for example) but the ultimate artifact they're racing after is kind of silly and insanely powerful. I could unfairly ask the logic of Why did no one in the previous films go for this thing? but I wont. The story itself is a pretty splendid wrap-up and, while it feels a little too forced to make connections to the previous films, it works as an exciting collection of new and old characters. It definitely has some fan service moments and if this is truly the final sendoff (doubtful), then I think it's a good place to hang up the pirate cap. 

Hole-y Sharks, Batman!

In fact, I think this needs to be the last one. Of course I have no say in it, especially if the film goes on to make a billion dollars like the last one [inexplicably] did. I just don't see where this series can go further anymore without being highly repetitive. Again, I come back to the aspect that I think there's only so much you can do with pirates and myths of the sea. Maybe I'm just not using my imagination, but unless there is a Fast and Furious franchise revival here, I don't see any of these films getting progressively better. Maybe they should hire Dwayne Johnson as a beefy pirate for the next one?

A lot of what determines the success of these Pirates films are their set-pieces. Dead Men Tell No Tales has inspired ones, mainly at the beginning, but as the film goes on they feel more and more generic. Still mildly entertaining and coupled with utterly fantastic visuals (I wish I'd seen this in 3D), but no where near the series' highs. The same goes for overall characters. Depp as Sparrow remains entertaining, if not a little tired, and Geoffrey Rush is delightful again as Barbossa. Will Turner's son, Henry (Thwaites) is fairly forgettable and, looking back, didn't even need to exist in this film other than a single connection point to previous ones. Kaya Scodelario is fun too even though she's virtually a clone of Kiera Knightly's character. Easily the best new character is Javier Bardem as Salazar. Partially because the special effects around him and his crew are impeccable and creepy, but also because he's a genuinely great villain. No Davy Jones, mind you, but still memorable and frightening. 

Yeah that's not creepy at all...

I'm not even entirely sure how I feel about Dead Men Tell No Tales. It left me feeling entertained, but in a very "meh" state. While I had some fun on this new adventure, I was often longing for curses on Black Pearls, a certain octopus-faced man's locker, water wheel chase scenes, and others. To me, that means that it's high tide (pun intended) that the series hang up its cutlass and compass and retire as it sails into the sunset on the horizon, dignity still in tact.

CONS

• The latter fantasy elements weren't working for me here. A little too silly/powerful
• The middle drags and most scenes on ships "in pursuit" are dreadfully boring
• Not much feels fresh or new
• Some forgettable new characters
• Latter half is mediocre

PROS

• Fantastic special effects. I'm guessing this one would be a treat in 3D
• Depp as Jack Sparrow continues to be one of the defining roles of his career, even if it does seem a little less magical this time around
• Handful of great set pieces, especially in the beginning. Also, zombie sharks for the win
• Javier Bardem's Salazar is a frightening villain and the effects surrounding him are chilling
• Straightforward and enjoyable plot that serves as a good sendoff to the series

Rath's Review Score | 7/10