Pain and Gain

There are a ton of avid movie goers and movie critics that hate Michael Bay. 

He hardly ever tells a coherent story, his characters are often one-dimensional and sometimes flat-out racist, his cinematography is atrocious, and his movies are often thought of as 3 hour-long, un-compelling action scenes. And you know what? All of the above are pretty true. But at this point, these facts have been true for so long that if you are still hating on Michael Bay for the way he makes his movies, you need a new hobby.

In my honest opinion, I don't mind his movies. In fact, I even enjoy most of them. I hated Revenge of the Fallen, but the first Transformers is still a really fun, entertaining movie, and other than the 3 hour run time, I enjoyed Dark of the Moon as well. Bad Boys I and II are fun for one time, but again, they are overly long...the same thing can be said for Armageddon. 

I recognize why people hate Michael Bay's films, but I often find that if I just go to them with my mind turned off I end up having an enjoyable experience. And once again, if you claim you are a movie buff and you still go to his movies expecting anything less, well then...I really don't know what to tell you. The day Michael Bay makes an Oscar worthy movie (other than special effects) is the day that hell freezes over. 

Our "villain" surrounded by a staple of Michael Bay movies:
super hot women

Pain and Gain tells the true story about a series of crimes performed by a group of bodybuilders in Miami in the mid 90's. I did a little bit of research before the movie and to make a long tale short...this series of events is f**ked up. You will watch the movie thinking that the "true" aspect flew out the window a long time ago, but it really didnt. These guys really did some  atrocious things. Now of course there are probably some parts that were elaborated for action scene purposes and for comedy purposes, but all in all, the story here is pretty damn close to how it happened. The only thing I am slightly doubtful about is Dwayne Johnson's character. I've heard he didnt play as big a role as the movie suggests, but Bay might have just wanted to embellish into that character because it fit better for the movie. Also, while this may come across as a comedy at times, it enters some pretty dark territory and the movie/writers do a good job of reminding us that these bodybuilders are the ones who turned into the villains and they shouldn't be idolized in the slightest. 

I'm about 99% sure that all three of these actors took heavy steroids to bulk up the way they did. Seriously
just look at Johnson's shoulders...so emasculating. 

Just because this movie doesnt have explosion after explosion and transforming robots doesn't mean Bay has changed his style. He often tries too hard to get the laughs, although there are sincerely quite a few to be had here. His cinematography and editing is still ADD-esque and more often than not pretty poor. The color is over saturated, the soundtrack is loud, and the movie had plenty of unnecessary scenes. 

Seriously though...his neck is like a tree trunk.
A redwood tree trunk.

But I'll be damned if I didnt have fun time in the theater. The story is a very compelling one despite the fact that I already knew what happened and it's told in a logical manner. There are voice overs by almost every single character throughout the film which takes a while to get used to (and was really not necessary for many of the smaller characters) but they help to explain some background details rather than taking the time to show it. And this may surprise you, but the best part about this Michael Bay film is the characters! Wahlberg plays the ringleader, Daniel Lugo, Dwayne Johnson plays Paul Doyle, and Anthony Mackie plays Adrian Doorbal. Those three are the bodybuilders-turned-kidnappers. The kidnappee, Victor Kershaw is played excellently by Tony Shalhoub and he eventually enlists the help of Ed Harris who plays the investigator, Ed DuBois. There are several other small players, but these guys are the main ones. 

I mean it's a Michael Bay movie. Did you really think
there wouldn't be at least ONE explosion?
Even if he was telling the story about the history of
Kleenex, he would find a way to incorporate
an explosion.

Not surprising is that all of the performances stand out as great. Wahlberg is an amazing actor as well as Mackie. They do their jobs and they do them well. On a similar note, Shalhoub and Harris are always good and they also turn in great runs. But the star of the show, at least in my opinion, is Johnson. His character is one that has a very dark part of himself. He found God in prison and after one thing leads to another his character ends up being a coked-out insane man. You know what's scarier than The Rock? The Rock on coke 24/7! Johnson has steadily been becoming a much better actor over the years, and I was impressed with him in Pain and Gain. He delivers much of the comedic timing and one-liners, is believable (and also funny) as a "Praise Jesus" man, and pretty terrifying (and still funny) as a drug addict who has shoulders the size of the Great Wall of China. I would have liked to see his character's dark side explored a bit more, but that's more Bay's fault than Johnson's. 

This is a pretty short review because there isn't much to say about a Michael Bay movie. If you hated him before, you'll most likely not change your mind after seeing Pain and Gain. If you go to his movies with your brain off like I do, you will enjoy this and might even be surprised that the characters are the best part. 

It's pretty funny, tells an interesting story, has fun characters, and is basically like a two hour long PSA about the side effects of steroid and cocaine use. What's not to love?

Pros:

• When it's funny, it's pretty damn funny. I was laughing pretty hard on several occasions
• The story is preposterous, but the fact that the true story was basically as crazy as this one is nuts. I really wanted to know how everything ended up
• All of the characters are fairly one-dimensional, but they are all done really well. This is a kudos to both the writers and the actors themselves
• Johnson does fantastic here and really shows his acting chops. He goes to dark places, light places, and crazy places, but he is consistently funny. I wouldn't mind seeing him incorporated into a comedy sooner or later (perhaps 21 Jump Street 2?)

Cons:

• For better or worse, it's a Michael Bay movie. With that comes a usually technically-poor movie. I would say Pain and Gain is more of an technically-average Bay movie
• There are some unnecessary scenes that serve no greater purpose. In addition, some of the jokes fall flat pretty hard
• I'd like to think I'm a fit individual. But dear Lord Johnson's and even Wahlberg's physiques are emasculating. Do steroids really work that well?

Rath's Review Score: 7/10