The Expendables 3

Now that's a pretty cool poster right there!

As it will be referenced many times throughout my review, feel free to check out my thoughts/score for The Expendables 2 right HERE.

Would have actually been a pretty funny scene
if the plane just took off without them.

Now, whether you check out that review or not, let me break down my thoughts on this franchise for you. I really disliked the first film. It tried hard to be serious but I came out of it feeling like there were so many missed opportunities based on all the stars they had in the film. I mean come on...it had Willis, Schwarzenegger, and Stallone all in the same film and the only scene that they share is a speaking one? Suffice it to say that it left me bummed out and not really excited about The Expendables 2 at all.

Then The Expendables 2 came out, with a completely different feel to it, and really, really, gave me what I was looking for from this series. For starters, it was hilarious, with the script definitely adding in some necessary quips to the proceedings. It also had some well captured action using mostly practical effects, a fun villain, a fun cast, and better yet: no missed opportunities. It was a radical shift in opinion about the series for me and silently, The Expendables 2 was one of my most enjoyable films of that busy movie year.

Now, two years later, we are given a PG-13 Expendables 3 with some cast additions and subtractions, and another opportunity to see if this franchise is actually worth a damn, or if the second film was just a stroke of luck.

Would this be an inappropriate place for a Jewish joke?
Yeah. You're probably right...

My answer lies somewhere in the middle. While it's not as much of a misstep as the first film, this third film in the series (that looks to keep on going) also never really shares the highs that the second film and its lighter tone were able to achieve. That being said, there are still several bright spots that I would like to point out. For starters, the film had probably the best plot out of the three, something that was very sorely lacking in the second film's clichéd happenings. Now, talking about "best" plot in a series like The Expendables is a bit of a back handed compliment, but I thought it true nonetheless. This film again follows Stallone and pals around the globe as they work to take down an ex-Expendable villain portrayed by Mel Gibson. It's not groundbreaking stuff here, but it was logical enough.

Going in for the kiss...wait for it...

I should also commend the casting minds responsible for this third film as well as apologize. For the last few months I was pretty hard on some of the casting choices that this film made. With a world of Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson, Jackie Chan, Steven Segal, Clint Eastwood, Mark Wahlberg, Tom Cruise, Samuel L. Jackson, etc. etc. etc. I very strongly questioned the likes of Antonio Banderas, Kelsey Grammar, and several others. Granted, I know that many people on that list are FAR too expensive for the series, but hey, I'm sure Harrison Ford wasn't a cheap ticket either. The point being that for a series all about action stars they chose a lot of non-action stars for this one. The good news is that they mostly work out okay. Kelsey Grammar doesn't actually get any action and serves his part well as does Harrison Ford who really only sits in a helicopter and pretends to fire. Mel Gibson gets better as a villain as the movie progresses, but he doesn't really come close to the gleefully silly/creepy Jean Claude Van Damme antagonist from the previous film. Many of the new additions are quite lame...Kellan Lutz is "meh", Victor Ortiz is just an additional body, and I don't even know the other young guy's name. Newcomer Ronda Rousey, who recently pledged to be the world's biggest female movie star, certainly shows potential as she looks and kicks-ass phenomenally. The acting could use a little work, but that was also the case for The Rock back in the day. Trust me when I say that she is doing much better for her first big feature with The Expendables 3 than he was with The Scorpion King. Wesley Snipes also decided to bring his A-game to this one and has some really fun scenes. He slides right into the team like he was always there and I hope to see him back for future installments. And...as much s**t as I gave Antonio Banderas, he is probably the "Chuck Norris" of this installment as the constantly-talking Hispanic who is borderline psychotic about how much he loves killing. His character, while a tad annoying, is fun to watch and funny enough, not to mention he has a pretty good action scene later in the film.

The principle cast does sufficient here, although I felt like they were all phoning it in a lot more this time than ever before. That's probably partly because the script suffers enormously this go around, with only a few funny jokes scattered throughout. The fast quips between old teammates are there, sure, they just aren't funny. Whereas I was rolling at parts of the second film, I think I chuckled on only a single handful of occasions in Expendables 3.

Dear Antonio Banderas,
I am sorry for doubting you. You were pretty funny.
Sincerely, Rath's Reviews
(My mother made me write that apology ^^ )

I'd let a red-dressed Ronda Rousey kick me.
Easily.

Probably the hardest part of the film to stomach is the horrendous special effects throughout the film. To my memory, the first two films used mainly practical effects. But this third one, in an attempt to go "bigger" I suppose, decided to include a lot of green screen (even at times where it's not necessary), CG explosions, CG vehicles (some of the worst looking helicopters ever), etc. With the extra budget from deleting the CG blood, it seems they decided to put it somewhere else and boy oh boy does it look rough, especially given that this is in the same summer that we have special effects highlight reels with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Guardians of the Galaxy.

Many of you may be seeing the mainstream, professional critic scores for The Expendables 3 and sighing that the series has finally bit the bullet. Rest assured that it hasn't. Or at least not yet. As someone who adored the second film, this third one is a decent step backwards in entertainment value, but how's that saying go? You can't teach old dogs new tricks?

Maybe these old dogs just take a couple more lessons than some in order to get it right.

CONS:

• Some absolutely atrocious special effects. Obvious green screen, even where it's not necessary, fake vehicles, fake explosions? What the f**k is this bull crap?!
• Some of the younger casting additions are instantly forgettable
• Why on God's green earth is this film PG-13? Such an unnecessary decision
• The script is abysmal when compared to the slapstick humor of the second one
• Significantly less entertaining than the second film for various reasons
• The main cast seems to be less motivated this time around
• A tad too long

PROS:

• Probably the best plot of the entire series (again...a bit of a backhanded compliment)
• Some solid stunts and action sequences. The hand-to-hand combat in particular is impressive
• Mel Gibson is a solid villain. He grows on you throughout the film...although I do wish he could have gone a bit crazier
• Wesley Snipes is a strong and welcomed addition to this franchise and feels like he's always been here
• Banderas has some of the film's only humor as well as some good action scenes. A fun (but somewhat annoying) character
• Rousey may just get her dream some day. A lot of work to be put in as she had some stiff line delivery, but the girl is gorgeous and she can kick some serious butt. Easily some of the best action in the film is from her
• Ford makes us forget that Willis isn't around
• The film lands somewhere in between the second and first with regards to how much I liked it. At this point, audiences should know exactly what they are getting when they enter an Expendables film. Mainstream critics seemed to have missed that memo. Either way, fans of the series should be pleased, if not a little disappointed as well

Rath's Review Score: 7/10